The future that never happened to us

 

The future is not the bluest mountain and the breathy embrace of an endless grey road
The future is traffic snarls and the messes everyone made-

all at once
The future is loneliness- and looking for the antidote  on an idle evening in your kitchen until it hits you that it is something inside YOU and not loneliness which holds the poison

Do not think the future is a perfect wedding and a happy marriage. Instead the future is guys who try too hard and heartbruisers who powdered you to ash by simply saying nothing at all. The future is never finding the jigsaw pieces locked in his chest because he handed the keys.To her.
The future is unsurprising, the future is loves you cannot return – but not for want of trying.
The future is not song and dance but the thump of each erratic heartbeat, still keeping beat with your life
The future is kindness, always.

The future is bathroom floors and no children in your arms, and wondering if you want motherhood even though you know it would suit you. Everybody believes it. You believe it.

The future is gone, already. I am at the edge of my twenties and all I have, is now.
And somehow,

I must make it enough.